


cuts on paper hearts, they can be awful deep

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A really really lonely and sad Dave, A+ productivity, By Mayday Parade, Called Ocean and Atlantic, Confessions, Dream Bubbles, Haha I was gonna update shit, I do that sometimes, I'm so productive, Instead I made this, It's also a song, Look it up it's a great song, M/M, The title is purposely lowercase, look at me go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"I ain’t alpha Dave, so maybe it’s changed or some shit, I dunno.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>John finally gets to meet Dave in a dream bubble, even though it's a thirteen year old died-too-soon version of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cuts on paper hearts, they can be awful deep

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to update some for story, I really was.
> 
> Instead I had this sudden realization about how sad I was that John and Dave never got to meet up in a dream bubble, and I wrote this.

You had really thought dream bubbles would make you happy.

The thought of meeting your friends, even if they were dead, had made excitement swell in your chest. At first. Until you realized that dream bubbles are nothing like normal dreams; you can’t control them, and you certainly can’t dream up just anyone. It’s all too complicated. Either you have to be sleeping simultaneously or you have to stumble into a dead version of someone, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. You, John Egbert, have been wandering through various bubbles with different memories of different people, all in search of one person.

Your best friend, Dave Strider.

Sure, you would be ecstatic to run into Rose. You think hearing her witty quips might actually cheer you up, but you _know_ hearing Dave either trying to rap and failing miserably or using his “irony” will make you feel a thousand times happier. But none of that is possible unless you find him, or a version of him at least, which you haven’t been able to do yet. That is, until you step from one memory to another and find yourself in a cluttered mess of what is a poor excuse of a bedroom.

You’ve never seen this place once in your life, but you know this memory has to be Dave’s. There’s no doubt about it. Especially as you take in your surroundings, finding that there is a set of turntables set up on a wooden desk and a mound of empty apple juice bottles in what you think might be a closet. It’s so full of shit you can’t tell anymore, but you’re pretty sure that’s what it’s original intent was.

“Egbert?” Ah, there it is. More like there _he_ is. You turn away from the probably-closet and direct your attention to the source of the sound, which is your best friend (not the alpha one, but a version of him, anyway). He’s standing right in front of you, frozen in place. It looks like he’d been going to sit on his bed, but you guess you’d startled him so much that he’d stopped midway to grabbing a seat. “Are you…”

You break into a grin. “Am I?”

“Real,” Dave forces out. “Are you real? Are you alpha John?”

“Yep, I’m alpha John.”

Dave lunges forward and throws his arms around you, drawing an “oof” from you and nearly knocking the two of you to the ground. “This is so uncool of me, isn’t it?” He mumbles into your shoulder, which you state for the record he is all-but nuzzling. You shake your head, wrapping your arms around him in return. This Dave can’t be older than thirteen -- that makes your chest ache. Far as you know, the Dave in your timeline is about fifteen, maybe sixteen. And, he’s god tier. The Dave you’re currently hugging probably never got that chance. He likely doesn’t even know what god tier is.

“Yes, but I never thought you were cool to begin with.” You respond smoothly. Dave pulls back from the hug to deliver a punch to your arm, which doesn’t really hurt at all but you still mutter “ow,” and rub the spot. You’d been too busy hugging him before to notice that Dave isn’t even wearing his shades, and his eyes are indeed milky white, meaning he is dead. You hop onto Dave’s bed, pulling him down with you.

“So. What’s with this getup you’re wearing? Looks hella stupid, by the way.” He says, scooching back on the bed until his back hits the wall. You follow suit.

“Shut up, Dave. It’s called god tier, and you never got to it. Well, this version of you, anyway. Alpha Dave is god tier, as far as I know. But more importantly, what happened to you? Why are you so young?” You reply, quirking an eyebrow.

“I use a formula to stay young,” He fires back. You wish you could say you’re surprised by him saying something like that, but you really aren’t. All you do is roll your eyes and huff, then cross your arms over your chest and lean back into the wall. Dave sighs, running a hand through his blonde hair. “Alright, alright. I died like as soon as we got into Sburb, but don’t fuckin’ ask me how, ‘cause I don’t remember. I’m only thirteen, but I guess you gathered that.”

You shrug. “Yeah, you looked around that age. How is it here? In the afterlife?”

“Boring, mostly. I don’t have anyone to talk to, usually. Sometimes I’ll get a random visit from versions of Rose, but most of them are dead. And maybe a Jade here or there. But I can say I ain’t ever met a John in one of these things, probably because you have weird god powers or some shit that keeps you from dyin’ too often, so there aren’t a whole bunch’a dead John’s wandering around here to keep me company.” He rushes out all in one breath. Even so, you catch everything he says. And it makes you feel kind of bad; this Dave must be very, very lonely.

But again, he’s still a version of Dave. Which means he’s not going to tell you he’s lonely, and you aren’t going to sit here and try to squeeze the confession out of him. “Oh. I’m sorry about that unfortunate boredom, but at least you’ve got your memories to keep you entertained for a little while, right?”

Dave doesn’t give you an immediate response. He instead dips his head, and you wonder what he’s doing only for a second before you hear a loud sniffle. “Dave, are you crying? No, wait, don’t cry. Holy shit dude, I thought you were all emotionless and stuff? I don’t know what to do with a crying Strider, you’re not supposed to have emotions!”

He sniffles again, then looks up. Tears are pricking at the corners of his eyes. A few have already escaped, leaving clear trails over his pale cheeks. “I guess--” Sniffle. “Being alone gives ya’ time to realize: who the fuck cares about not having emotions?”

You frown. This reunion (of sorts) was supposed to make you happy, but instead it’s making you feel incredibly depressed. The only thing you can do now is give Dave a hug, so you do just that. He clings to you and before you know it he’s crying into your shoulder, shuddering and gasping for breath. You rub his back, trying your best to comfort him, but comforting people was always Jade’s thing. Even Rose could comfort people, in her own strange way. You, however, are awful at it. But at least you’re trying, so that’s good, right? “I don’t remember much.” Dave whispers once he’s finally calmed down, but you have no intention of letting him go and you don’t think he has any intention of letting go. Who cares about personal space?

“Remember much of what?”

“Everything,” He says. “The game. My Bro. You. Rose and Jade. My memories are actually really limited, so that’s why I don’t have shit to do. Can’t really remember anything to make me feel better, so instead I sit here wallowing in self-pity which is a fucking shitty thing to do. I’m pretty much the worst offshot Dave, I think.”

“No, you’re a fine Dave. In fact, I like this whole emotions thing. What all do you remember, then? Limited doesn’t mean you forgot everything.”

“Yeah,” He sniffles again, and you’re afraid he might start crying, but all he does is shuffle closer to you. “I can remember Rose used violet font, and she liked wizards and cats. And Jade lived on a scenic island and liked to shoot guns. I think she used green font? Who the hell cares. And then you, with the awful taste in movies and actors alike, who used blue font. You know that color fuckin’ kills me now, right? It reminds me too much of you.”

You run a tentative hand through Dave’s hair, apprehensive to do so; you’re fearful he’s going to recoil from the touch, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans into it. “Jeez, this sounds really sucky. I’m sorry you have to experience that stuff.” Dave only nods his head. “Well, is there anything else?”

He goes to speak. You notice that you’re fading away, which probably means you’re waking up. Dave smiles sadly, wiping his eyes. You reach out to see if you can still touch him, and you can -- so you wipe his tears with your thumbs. “Yeah, I guess I can tell ya’ one last thing. I ain’t alpha Dave, so maybe it’s changed or some shit, I dunno,” He blurts out quickly, fidgeting nervously. Your form flickers. “I, uh. Remember that I had the biggest crush on you, and spent years pining over you, but you never fucking realized and the...the pain of that remains, I guess? It’s kinda fucking annoying, really.”

You can’t respond to him because you’re already gone.

Once your three years on the ship is up, and you finally meet the trolls and your friends,

you remember what the Dave you’d met had said (and how sad he was).

Even though you also know he wasn’t so sure if alpha Dave still felt the same way, the first thing you do when you meet him is pull him into a tight hug and tell him you’re so, so sorry. He raises an eyebrow and looks at you like you’ve gone insane, then proceeds to ask you what exactly you’re sorry about. “Being oblivious to your feelings,” is your response. He stands there quietly, but it’s only for about a second.

And it seems to click.

You’re pretty sure the feelings are still lingering,

especially when Dave pulls you flush against him and gives you a feverish kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> YES I KNOW THEIR FIRST MEETING DIDN'T GO LIKE THIS BUT I AM ANTI-DAVEKAT.
> 
> NO OFFENSE TO DAVEKAT SHIPPERS OR ANYTHING. AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT OUT HERE BEING ONE OF THE DAVEKAT ASSHOLES YOU'RE PRETTY CHILL I GUESS.
> 
> I WOULD STOP YELLING, BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT? THERE'S NONE, RIGHT.
> 
> THIS WAS PROBABLY TRASH AND I AM SORRY BUT I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS. I NEEDED THE DREAM BUBBLE FEELINGS GONE. THEY ARE NOW. (maybe)


End file.
